When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
The dinosaurs aren't extinct. They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.