What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!.
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up.
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."