30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard... They were never seen again.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.