What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
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What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse.
Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?"
"About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies.
The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
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Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.
What is a Zebra?
A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing.
The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" and the deer replied,
"Oh, you are, Master."
The gorilla walked off pleased.
Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole.
The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?"
The zebra replied, "Oh, you are, Master."
The gorilla walked off pleased.
Then he came across an elephant.
"Who is the king of the jungle?" he roared.
With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.
The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, "Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer."