What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They re both brown, except the snowball.
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Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew.
A man has a racehorse, never won a race.
Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning."
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?"
The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches.
"Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams.
"It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam.
"No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches."
"Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all.
In fact, he heard no sounds at all.
Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out.
"Talk to me, baby."
"Moo."