Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter.
What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.
I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.