How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?
Flipper coin.
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Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
Did you copy hers?, she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
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I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
Ground Beef.
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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A deer hunter just messed up another hunt.
This happened to him more times than he could count.
He would spot a buck, aim, fire and miss.
He would sneak up close just to get busted and watch the deer run away.
He would sneeze just as the buck came into range.
He would fall asleep on the stand, waking in time to watch a giant buck scamper away.
Frustrated, he complained to his hunting buddies.
"Everything that happens to guys that don't know how to hunt keeps happening to me!" he said.