Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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The world ends on December 21st, 2012.
Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
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If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
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A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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