Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Chuck Norris is not cool. By saying that, I have decreased my life to 5 seco...