What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
What should you call a bald teddy? Fred bear .
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.