What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion. What do you do? Get your drunk ass off the carousel.
Why does a squirrle swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop.
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.