Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
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How did Captain Hook die?
He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Vote:
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.
The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks.
Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman.
"What about your hook"?
"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords.
One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman.
"How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Vote:
What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?
A harenet.
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!
Q: Why are black people, pirates?
A: Because they go nigarrr.
Vote:
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.