What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
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"I’m in a big trouble!"
"Why is that?"
"I saw a mouse in my house!"
"Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap."
"I don’t have one."
"Well then, buy one."
"Can’t afford one."
"I can give you mine if you want."
"That sounds good."
"All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap."
"I don’t have any cheese."
"Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap."
"I don’t have oil."
"Well, then put only a small piece of bread."
"I don’t have bread."
"Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water?
A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.