What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!