Joke #1073

As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: navy, computer, technology, kids, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it." Bobby is shocked. "Excuse me, sir?" "Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her." Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she's ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"
Vote: has 89.34 % from 821 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, time, dating, kids, sex
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
Vote: has 85.48 % from 193 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology, computer, history
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Vote: has 85.30 % from 230 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, coding, technology, computer
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."
Vote: has 84.84 % from 122 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military, air force, airplane, time, navy
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Vote: has 84.82 % from 588 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, wife, computer, technology, winter
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
Vote: has 83.18 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, teacher, kids, food, animal
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
Vote: has 83.17 % from 234 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, technology
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Vote: has 82.37 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, god, kids, dad, animal
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Vote: has 81.65 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, airplane, technology
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
Vote: has 81.17 % from 547 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology, computer