Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?" But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.