Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines. They have footprints.
The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.