Joke #10761

What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 52.82 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, death
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!" Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
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has 86.72 % from 608 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.87 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal