Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
Chuck Norris can one hit kill a creeper in Minecraft... With a stick.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Stars wish upon Chuck Norris.