Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear?
A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
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Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!
"I want a divorce"!
"But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part."
"I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again.
They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again.
They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year."
The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.
The guys said "What’s that board for?"
The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this."
They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!"
The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year."
"Okay," they said and left.
Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year."
The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?"
"Yeah" said the guy.
"Where is he?" asked the trader.
"I shot him" said the guy.
"Why?"
"I caught him in bed with my board."
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.