Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.