Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.