There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.