Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare.
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.