Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.