Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.