Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.