There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick, "What school?"
You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
This guy went to school and he asked "May I use the bathroom?" The teacher replied, " no not unless you say your abc's." The guy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher asked "Where's the p? He replied, " running down my leg!"
You know your f*cked when the Asian says, "shit", during the test.
A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school... Teacher: "Whats your name?" Boy: "Nadir" Teacher: "No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today." Boy went home and his mother asked: "How was the day Nadir?" Boy: "I am an American now, so call me Johnny." Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised... Teacher: "What happened Johnny?" Boy: "Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists."
School is like a boner, long and hard. Unless you're Asian...
Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his mother ask why he replays. "The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that." Mom says "cause u black and they white." Next day Tyrone is crying again . "What's wrong today Tyrone" his mother ask. Tyrone said "teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that." Mom says "cause u black and they white." Next day he comes home smiling. "What happened today Tyrone?" Tyrone says mama "we went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all . Is that cause I'm black and they white." Mama says "no Tyrone it's cause u 17 and they 6."
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
There's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids. So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad. His dad beats the crud outta him. He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!" He gets beat by his mom too. Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white! She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room. Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?" And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggers!"