Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.