A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can deliver a roundhouse kick in full 1080p, remember that the next time you watch Walker Texas Ranger in Blu-Ray.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.