Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of 'Connect 4' in 3 turns.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world...
Including himself.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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