Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.
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Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
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There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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