Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Earth is not spinning around the sun. The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.