Chuck Norris's Blood Can't be matched...
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.