After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.