Joke #11060

Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT

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Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t. The pig was killed. The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily. “What happened?” asked the President. “Well,” the driver replied “the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me.” “My God, what did you tell them?” asked the President. The driver replied: “I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”
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has 83.11 % from 463 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, celebrity, death, political
There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it." The programmer said "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
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has 81.87 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: car, death, IT, programmer
In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years. 24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies. AND that girl stole his bacon.
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has 81.32 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, women
If I could bring one dead person back to life I'd bring back Walt Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction...
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
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has 77.91 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, music
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
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has 77.77 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, political
An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."
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has 73.17 % from 268 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, money, stupid, time
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
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has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT, life, technology
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, marriage, political, sex