Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.