Joke #11357

Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.

Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."

Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.

Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."

Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...

The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.

Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.

Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. "Do you realize what time it is?" she asked. He answered, "Dont get excited. Im late because I bought something for the house." Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?" His answer was, "A round of drinks!"

You're not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.