Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night?
A: They don't want to get "beat up".
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Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
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Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
A: Fry-days.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party?
A: Around the cluck!
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after.
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
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A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."