Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
Matthew: Why?
Peter: Because he broke the record!
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Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music?
"Because he broke the record."
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up.
What's wrong with me?"
Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London.
Then they wrote a song about it.
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