Joke #11472

99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed... Compile again, 100 little bugs in the code.
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, poems, programmer

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Murphy's Laws of Computing 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. 9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
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has 90.69 % from 622 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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has 88.32 % from 1017 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer, women
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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has 86.25 % from 499 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"
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has 85.23 % from 831 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer, travel, women
Wikipedia: I know everything! Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody! Internet: Without me you are nothing! Electricity: Keep talking bitches!
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has 85.15 % from 1264 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
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has 84.59 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, programmer, work
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
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Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
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A system administrator has 2 problems: - dumb users - smart users
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Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
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has 83.82 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer