"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up".
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?" To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.