Joke #11503

Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, husband, Halloween

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
Vote: has 84.63 % from 467 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, kids, marriage, death, husband
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
Vote: has 83.18 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, teacher, kids, food, animal
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Vote: has 82.37 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, god, kids, dad, animal
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
Vote: has 80.25 % from 244 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, life, husband, kids
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Halloween, men, accountant, mean, kids
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: wife, husband, kids, age, accountant
There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As the sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them. He asked them "who is the most obedient?" Five sets of eyes looked up at him. Sensing that they didn’t understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?" One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. "You win!" exclaimed the child.
Vote: has 77.23 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad, kids
A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort. The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill. He stopped indignant there and told to the child: "You should say to your boss that it is a shame to make a kid such hard work to do." "I told them, sir." "Well, what did they reply?" "Pull kid and some sucker will be there to help you."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, work, god, kids
Husband: "Good night mother of my three sons." Wife: "Same to you father of none."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, wife, dad, kids
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
Vote: has 71.87 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, marriage, time, husband, kids