Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
A: For kitty littering.
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Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?
A: Kitty-hawk
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat?
A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him.
“Daddy, the cat died today!”
“Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.”
“But why are his arms and legs up in the air?”
“Well, darling, that’s just something they do.”
She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later.
When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.
“Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
Two kittens on a sloped roof.
Wchich one slides off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.