Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
Knock, Knock! Who's there? D umbbell. Dumbbell who? Dumbbell doesn't work so I had to knock!
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
Knock Knock! Who's there? Zany Zany who? Zany body home?
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Justin Justin who? Justin time for dinner!
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.