Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they leave to go answer the door.
Knock, Knock! Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? That's a great TV show, isn't it?
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."