I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted?
A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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