Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander.” Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. “Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn’t you be a bit more tactful, next time?” “Yes, sir,” answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath’s mother died. You’d better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. “Ok, men, fall in and listen up. Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward. NOT SO FAST, McGrath!”
Q: How do you drown a hipster? A: In the mainstream.
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway? A: Because its underground.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.