Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans? A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.