Joke #11635

I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: single, beauty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, love, friendship, single
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: single, relationship
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Vote: has 64.34 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, Fathers day, single
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket. The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!" Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?" The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
Vote: has 80.73 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, animal, beauty, work
One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling. "What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked. "Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
Vote: has 82.87 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, beauty
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, mother in law, money, death, funeral
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Vote: has 89.65 % from 537 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, single, women, wife, family
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: internet, single, women, horse
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?" God replies: "So you can love them, my child." "Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?" "So that they can love you back, my child...!"
Vote: has 76.80 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, god, beauty, love, stupid
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest. "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man. "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest. "Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".
Vote: has 89.89 % from 3824 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, priest, beauty, god